But…You Don’t Look (Insert Race and/or Ethnicity Here)

                                       But…You Don’t Look (Insert Race and/or Ethnicity Here)  

“But you don’t look Spanish.”

This is where the book really started for me. “But you don’t look Spanish.” I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve gotten a variation of that accusation.

“But Bri you don’t look black!"

My face on the outside 

My face on the inside 

                                                                                                                                                

My eyes furrow and a thousand things cross my mind.

“What does black look light?”

“What doesn’t black look like?”

“Is it because I’m light-skinned?”

“Is it because I’m not dark-skinned?”

Or just, “Why?”

M.T. has a similar response, she really knows the struggle. I've fought the same urges to say what I’m thinking.

Once the character who says the ignorant comment, Siobhan, realizes how ignorant and stupid she sounds she tries to make up for her mistake. I’ve been in this scenario so many times. The person who is in the wrong tries to make up for their fumble.

“Well you know what I mean Bri. You’re just…you...well. You know what I mean right?’

Reluctantly and begrudgingly but smiling on the outside, “Yeah I know.”

“Siobhan looks relieved that she averted a Racial Incident, the kind she’s heard about on some MTV reality show.’ Pg.9 (See example below)

                                                  

Now, for the most part M.T is really just an average girl. She hangs out with friends, goes to school, loves her little brother flirts with boys. Also she’s really sarcastic,

“She may just need to rethink this whole college thing with a catastrophe like that looming.” Pg. 7                 

  This was in reference to “not cute looking” long twin bed sheets.

The invisible but not intangible elephant in the room is that she and her entire family are “illegal”. This means she doesn't have the same rights are her rich friend Chelsea and her annoying ass stubby cousin Siobhan. She is like them in so many ways, but they will never know this kind of struggle. While Chelsea is eating with a silver spoon, M.T and her family would be lucky if they even get a plastic one. 

“I wonder if generation after generation of living in big houses and having everything makes people prettier somehow.” Pg.6

Reading this book has been easy so far. It is just sad seeing how little of a choice she essentially has. These were the cards she was dealt. The fact that she's doing everything right ( she's a nice girl, she cares A LOT about her studies, she's a great big sister) just makes it harder to see how little options shes had. It also makes me think back to my pre college days. Did I know anyone with this predicament? Would I have been shocked had they told me? What could I have done to help them? If I could have done anything at all. 

All in all this was a good 50 pages. 

Andreu, Maria E.. The Secret Side of Empty. Philadelphia: RP Teens, 2014. Print.

- Briana W